Alone 3

I Asked him to love me, but not too much

I asked him to wait for me,  but not for too long

I asked him to stay drowning in love, until I was ready to jump in and save him, 

I asked him to wait just a little bit more,

but by then he was gone. 


Alone 2

I’m crying over you, but I don’t know why, 

I don’t want to be with you, but I want to be in your heart, 

I’m heartbroken over you, I’m terribly sad.

I want you to leave me, I still want you by my side, 

I want you to stay with me, but not right now. 


​I write about pain in an effort to turn it to art,To make it beautiful, 

I look down at the result of what I’ve done, 

Seeing The beautiful pain, tears me apart. 

So I wonder, if it works at all, 

If the art of pain, would change my world,

After years of torn paintings and battered brushes, 

I’m here to say, that it does not. 


First, I’ll like to offer help through these; PLEASE CHECK THEM OUT, DON’T LET THE VOICE IN YOUR HEAD WIN. (you can copy the links and open them in your browser).

Join me in reading Reclaiming Sanity:

Breaking Free From Depression

Join me in reading Overcoming Thoughts of Suicide and Self-Harm:

Join me in reading 21 Days To Beat Depression:

Join me in reading Depression:

Join me in reading The Invisible War:

Join me in reading Depression: Hope Inside Out:

My Testimony;


Well, I’ve been for almost two years now, but I’ve been hiding my faith from wordpress. 

God is what makes me the happiest, To find someone who’ll love you, when you don’t love you, when no one cares enough to love you, is priceless, and literally his love is priceless !

That’s the most amazing part, its all been paid for by Jesus Christ. Anytime you’ve done something or thought about something that makes you feel less, guilty or shamefull, just know that he doesn’t judge nor condemn, why? Because all that shame was ALREADY put on him, all the embarrassment, all the pain that sin brings, was already crucified with him, so when you feel that way, just put them on him, they’ve died with him, and remember he rose again without that pain, shame and sin, so that’s why the his word says ;

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he  is  a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

II Corinthians 5:17 NKJV

 And if you’ve read my posts, you’ll know that  they’re inspired by depression, anxiety, rejection  and insecurities, things that led me to suicidal thoughts and isolation, so today when I wrote a throwback poem, I was reminded of how dark my past was and how THE DEVIL ISN’T WORTH WRITING ABOUT, so from now on, I won’t write anything that isn’t inspired by the spirit of the Lord that dwells in me, BY HIS GRACE ALONE. I love you all for the encouragement and actually appreciating my work, because honestly that did more than you know to help me through those times, you made me know that I wasn’t alone and that I wasn’t strange because of all the things I’d been through, but now I know that even POETRY DOESN’T DEFINE ME. 

To end this post, people may say Christianity isnt realistic, but honestly I’ve tried realistic and it led to depression, anxiety, insecurities and more, because I DIDN’T KNOW WHO I WAS, but when I found my definition in Christ, along came joy, peace, and love, and this things are more real than anything I can see.

So to end this, again. I have hidden God for too long and this post is just a declaration of who I am now….. A FOLLOWER OF JESUS CHRIST. 


I still remember him,

What he looked like, how he smiled, 

His eyes, I remember everything.

I still hear his words, everything he said, 

The way his laugh sounded like drizzling rain, 

The perfection of it all; I remember like it was yesterday. 

I remember the first time I realized, the mockery of it all, 

How his eyes, smile, and laughter, mocked me,

How he ran, so I could chase him, 

How he disappeared, so I could seek him, 

How he Couldn’t remember me, when I found him.